Helping children build positive friendships
Friendships are important to us all, they give us a sense of belonging, increase our self-esteem, and provide moral support when times are tough. Making friends is a skill that’s just as important as learning to read or write and like anything we need to learn, some find it easy, and others need a bit more support. Helping children to form positive relationships involves developing their social skills such as listening to others, empathy, tolerance, generosity, and kindness. Here are a few tips that might help smooth the way.
Give opportunities to socialise and observe how your child responds to situations so you can understand their traits. Some children are naturally out going but others are much more reserved and enjoy just observing – and that’s OK!
Be aware of their social developmental stage. Up until 3 years your child is happy to play alongside others without really engaging, so don’t expect your 18-month year old to happily give up their toy – they are not developmentally ready to share.
Give praise for the positive social behaviour you want to encourage, ‘that was very kind of you to look after your sister when she fell’. By acknowledging their act of kindness and empathy you are increasing their awareness.
When your child becomes more social and is mixing with others at nursery or school, facilitate playdates. Discuss with them who they would like and what they might enjoy doing. This encourages them to think what makes others happy, developing thoughtfulness.
If your child is struggling with making friends encourage them to join a club or look out for children who enjoy doing the same things as them. Do a bit of role play at home of how to start up a conversation with questions and demonstrate open body language.
When the inevitable falling out between friends happen try not to overreact or jump in to fix it for them. It’s important to listen, acknowledge and help them express their feelings. We naturally want to protect them from being upset but learning to problem solve through difficult situations is a vital life skill. Spend time discussing their options and plan so they feel empowered to cope and move forward.
Be a good role model. Remember your child absorbs everything from you so make sure you are demonstrating how to be a good friend and are open and engaged when meeting new people.
