10 Tips for Back to School
As the nights draw in and the temperature drops, there’s a definite autumnal feeling in the air. Having been a teacher for many years, September has always been a positive and optimistic time. I looked forward to meeting my new families and felt excited about seeing the established children return, all looking as though they had grown 4 cm! It’s a time of transition and a change of pace for families, having enjoyed a much more relaxed, less structured period over the summer. Some can’t wait to get back into a routine and spend less time together, others are anxious and feeling stressed about how they are going to cope logistically with the changes. This year, the effects of Covid add extra stress and unpredictability, which can make the changes feel more daunting. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s OK. Being aware of how you and your children are responding to the challenges of getting back into the swing of things is positive. Here are some tips of how to prepare and support the transition back to school and help make life a little smoother.
1. Listen – it’s really important to make time to listen to what your child’s worries and fears might be. It’s easy to get so caught up in the practicalities of buying uniform and supplies that the moments to chat are lost. Open questions such as ‘what are you looking forward to?’ and ‘what parts of the day do you think might be tricky?’ give your child an opportunity to think about their feelings. The key is to acknowledge their feelings rather than dismiss them. Try not to give a quick fix. Let them know that they are not alone feeling the way they do, and their feelings will change as everything becomes more familiar.
2. What if’s – this follows on from listening to what your child may be anxious about and allows you to discuss what solutions and strategies they might use if the worrying scenario happens; ‘so what if you find yourself alone in the playground, what do you think you could do?’. In this conversation you can help them explore what self-calming actions might work for them such as breathing techniques, how to ask for help, inviting a new person to play with them. Roleplay can be really useful, so your child gets to practice how they want to say goodbye, for instance. Allow them to think of ideas rather than you telling them what to do.
3. Sleep routine – one of the joys of the holiday period is that you don’t have to set the alarm and drag everyone out of bed. Getting back into a routine before the start of school will ensure that your child is well rested to give them the energy they need.
4. Have a plan – It’s helpful to involve everyone in this so you don’t feel overwhelmed by having to ‘run the ship’. Prepare the night before by letting them get uniform and bags ready. It might be helpful for everyone to have their own tick chart or calendar once you know what activities are happening when.
5. Lunch boxes – This can become a chore but try to involve them in making healthy choices of easy to eat foods the night before. Be realistic about the quantity, too much can be overwhelming and too little will leave them lacking in energy and grumpy in the afternoon. Check what the school policies are regarding allergens.
6. The route – if it’s a new school have a dry run so you know how long the journey is going to take. Finding a ‘walk to school buddy’ for your child can help make the journey fun and alleviate anxiety.
7. Be truthful – avoiding the truth is never helpful and your child needs to know that you will be leaving. Having factual conversations beforehand about how parents don’t stay at school can reassure them and tell them that you will be there at home time.
8. Be positive and excited – leaving your child in a strange place is not easy and may trigger some negative feelings of your own school experiences. Try not to let your anxieties show; be aware of your body language and how you talk about starting/going back to school in front of them. Even if your heart is breaking inside, try to be confident and positive as you leave.
9. Pick up – be there on time, especially in the first few days, as a couple of minutes at the end of a long, tiring day can feel like hours to your child. Try not to interrogate them as soon as they walk out - it’s easy to overwhelm them with questions but they need time to unwind before being able to reflect. Most small children when asked what they did will reply ‘nothing’ or ‘I can’t remember’. Gentle positive questions when they are ready such as ‘what was the best bit about today’ will give you a better chance of hearing about their experiences.
10. Be kind to yourself – try to give yourself time to adjust to the new routine and if possible, avoid scheduling in too many things in the first term.
RELAX, you’ve got this!
