“It’s OK to feel anxious, I sometimes feel that way too”

As the new year begins, we take a deep breath and hope that this one will be more predictable and less challenging than the last. There is no doubt that some things we took for granted, such as children going to school, socialising with friends and family and working in the office have been disrupted over the past 18 months. The effect of not feeling in control of our own routines and continual disruption of normal life can lead to a feeling of anxiety and insecurity, which is a rational response to the situation.  Learning to recognise and respond positively to our feelings is an important part of maintaining good mental health, so how can we help our children do this too?  Here are some tips to and things to consider.

• All feelings are important to acknowledge, labelling them can help acceptance and processing of responses

• Validate feelings with empathy and understanding letting them know that everyone feels big emotions sometimes

• Discuss how it feels in different parts of their body, this can help increase awareness and recognise the symptoms in future

• Invite them to rate their feeling on a scale from 1-10, gives them something tangible to work with and recognise if their calming strategies are working

• Discuss the worst-case scenarios, allow them to express all the elements they are worrying about without judgement or offering a solution 

• Help them problem solve and make a plan of how to respond should their worst-case scenario happen, allow them to come up with their own idea of what they could do before reviewing the list. Then choose which 2 or 3 ideas are the best

• Develop calming and coping strategies that you can practice at home together* 

• Reframe any generalised negative thoughts ‘I’m always the worst at X’  turn it to ‘you find that tricky but remember how you couldn’t do X and now it’s easy for you’’

* see blog for calming strategies for children coming soon